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Monthly Archives: September 2014

From the Dark Side…

from Sherlock Holmes Esq to Dr J Watson:

Watson,
It is with the utmost relief that I have regained the capacity to use a pen. I have been to Hell and back in the last 48 hours. I thought I would never again see or hear your familiar features and gruff yet soothing cadences – do not ask where I have been or what degradations I have been through – I am doing my utmost to wipe the shameful details from my internal memory bank. I ought to have heeded your advice to decline Stevenson’s invitation to embrace my dark side.

Watson, you have no idea of the horrors that lurk in the recesses of the psyche when unleashed and unfettered – aided and abetted by substances and unholy impulses. Stevenson maintained I was helping him test some theories in his Research towards a forthcoming opus, regarding the primitive impulses which reside in each of us, thinly veiled beneath the civilised veneer. I will tell you more once I have recovered slightly.  

Your penitent friend and fellow- explorer.  
SH

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Posted by on September 25, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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Wilde Nights…

from Dr J Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:

Holmes
Please inform Mrs Hudson that I would be very glad to avail myself of the spare bed after tonight’s adventures. I cannot say, however, that I’m looking forward to meeting Stevenson again – after that face-changing charade he pulled off at Dr Jekyll’s apartments last year, when his lodger Hyde appeared and went on a killing spree down at the local butchers. If you hadn’t had the foresight to bring along your meat cleaver and get a good swing at the madman as he emerged from the shop with a pork chop on his head, God alone knows what might have transpired.

It will be good to see Wilde again – especially since he denounced that bunch of homosexual vagabonds he and Bosie used to hang around with. (I can put up with Bosie and his boring anecdotes about that illiterate drunkard and rarely-known-to-be-sober shit-faced father of his – just so long as he doesn’t get his John Thomas out in public again!)

At any rate, the girl in the cake should allow us an amusing interlude – provided she doesn’t go and get herself murdered. I could not countenance another “The Case of the Knife in the Chest of the Girl in the Cake” again.

Ah, my Hansom has arrived. I will see you anon.

Watson

 
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Posted by on September 17, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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Charlie’s Party…

from Sherlock Holmes Esq to Dr J Watson:
Watson – are you going to Dickens’ Birthday Bash tonight? I believe it is arranged in order to sample the delights of as many scurrilous watering-holes and dens of iniquity as possible, which surprises me not one whit, considering with whom we are dealing.   Naturally, the likes of Wilde and his ilk will be attending – I have it from a reliable source that young Stevenson is coming down from Edinburgh – no doubt with some of his cronies – you can imagine the tone of the proceedings with that shower – Mrs Leanshanks has been commissioned to emerge, scantily-clad, from a giant confection near the end of the proceedings.

I fear that will be surplus to requirements, as by that time there doubtless will be nary a one left standing, and with all faculties intact. Let me know your intention as soon as possible, as Hudson needs to know whether she must air the spare bed.

Holmes.

 
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Posted by on September 14, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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