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Monthly Archives: March 2015

On the Road Again…

from Dr J Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:

From the diary of Doctor Watson

I write this in yet another railway compartment with my companion sitting opposite me. It seems that we have been travelling for days, yet if can only be a matter of hours. We should arrive in Inverness by teatime where (I hope) our transport to the Clansman Hotel near Drumnadrochit will be ready and waiting.

Holmes is currently reading up on newspaper reports of the Monster’s latest exploits, though as yet the only news of the woman, is from a certain Inspector Angus McCoatup, who responded to my telegram with more than a teaspoonful of disdain. No doubt he imagines he can solve this mystery himself.

At this point, my companion looked up and observed, “I expect you, dear Watson, are of the opinion that these sightings of Nessie are based on fact?” He raised his eyebrows in a manner that suggested any opinion I might have would be misguided, if not completely wrong.

“Well,” I said. “The locals certainly seem to think there is some truth to the matter. Though I suppose…”

“Nonsense man! Even these ridiculously optimistic reporters have discerned that something is amiss. Look at this one…” He waved a copy of the Inverness Examiner in my face. “It says here – ‘According to one onlooker, a figure resembling that of a very beautiful young woman was seen to be riding on the back of the Monster as it thrashed through the water at the edge of the Loch last night after closing time. In this reporter’s opinion, it appears more likely that a 12-year-old Malt Scotch had more to do with the sighting than anything based in reality!’..”

Holmes dropped the paper on the floor. “If I know Irene Adler, this so-called ‘monster’ will have more to do with money and sex than mythical beasts. Mark my words.” And with that, he said no more.

To be continued.

Watson

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Posted by on March 31, 2015 in Detective Fiction

 

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Baltimore (Absolutely Final) Diaries (Totally)…

From Sherlock Holmes Esq to Doctor Watson:

Watson – I was rather peeved at your hasty departure the other day, and as a result I allowed young Stevenson to lead me astray – yes, I can hear your muttering along the lines of ” don’t need any Leading to do That”…and yes, I am aware that my inherent inclinations have led me down the path of Debauchery and Dissolution once or twice..but then you’re hardly Mr Prim and Proper yourself, old thing.

I shall desist  this childish name-calling forthwith, as your telegram set out the situation succinctly –  The Woman is in need of our assistance; we must marshal our forces and ride to her rescue –  excuse my choice of phrase, Watson, but I have been forced to read some Tosh which I found in Stevenson’s Lodgings – the man does not possess a decent Library; for one who makes his living from the Craft of Writing…hard to believe, I know…this lack of worthwhile matter is indeed somewhat shocking…also if I have to swallow one more slice of toast covered in that infernal comestible I may expire.

I will be back to Civilisation as soon as possible, with much relief at the prospect…Stevenson is collating yet another precis for his infernal preserve-touting venture as I write…the stench of the marinating fruits is stinging my eyes and throat to a degree I could not have imagined.

Yours, a tad inebriated, SH.

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2015 in Uncategorized

 
 
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