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Tag Archives: Hennery Baskerville

Barbarian’s at the Gate…

From Dr Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:

(By special delivery via Mrs Watson)

Really Holmes, you are exasperating!!!

What exactly was the point in having me traipse all the way to Baskerville Hall to solve some so-called mystery? Clearly, you had some scheme in mind, no doubt another one of your let’s-test-Watson games, but I really do not appreciate wasting my time here with Sir Hennery when I could have been getting on with some actual work!

It is only Hennery’s good nature and talent to amuse that kept me from going out of my mind, sitting here, day after day, awaiting the arrival of His Eminence Sherlock Holmes, who all this time it seems has been sitting on his consultative arse back at Baker Street. Let me tell you, Holmes, when I get off the train tomorrow, I shall come straight over to yours and give you a jolly good going over, which you can be assured will include probing your many orifices, assessing your testicular reflexes and several other painful ‘tests’ which I dare say I shall enjoy administering. And what’s more, if it turns out that there is not a damn thing wrong with you (apart from a warped sense of humour), I shall be very vexed indeed.

I’d return on the night train if I wasn’t so angry, but knowing myself as I do, I will sleep on it and save my ire for the morning.

Be warned!

Watson (tired and irritable)

 
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Posted by on March 1, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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When the Horse has Boulted…

From Dr Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:

Dear Holmes

It seems that my foray into the world of film is over as quickly as it began – it turns out that the Boultings merely wanted me ‘on board’ in order to completely trash my version of our adventures and turn us into a pair of comedic buffoons. Naturally I told them where they can stick their ridiculous ideas (though I did add that if that famous actor Basil Rathbone is ever interested, they should by all means get back in touch, but only if my role can be taken by someone like Laurence Olivier or Stanley Baker – I have no wish to be portrayed by some muddling old fool like Nigel Bruce – that would be a travesty!)

Anyway, great news about old Hennery – I shall be round as soon as I’ve persuaded Mrs Watson to unzip me from my costume (we attended a rather sordid 24-hour party yesterday and were persuaded to turn up as Mae West and John Wayne (naturally, I was Mae West –¬† you wouldn’t believe some of the requests I had!)

Soon

Watson

 
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Posted by on February 17, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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The Moon’s a Balloon…

From Sherlock Holmes Esq to Dr J Watson:

Watson

You can lick your wounds later – we have more pressing matters at hand – I have just received an urgent summons from our old friend, Hennery Baskerville – he believes himself to be in imminent danger, from tonight’s Full Moon and urges us to join him at Baskerville Hall. Are you up for it, or has your wife made plans (being an aficionado of this ridiculous new¬†Celebration…whose name I cannot bring myself to inscribe….)?

If you are able to join me, call round at your soonest convenience…Hudson has made a confection in honour of the day…she is a hopeless Romantic, as you know (I believe it involves Parma Violets, Sugared Almonds and a creature, supposedly Cupid, hovering over a naked Female Form). That should be sufficient to draw you round.

Your rather nauseous,

Friend,

SH.

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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