From Dr Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:
(By special delivery via Mrs Watson)
Really Holmes, you are exasperating!!!
What exactly was the point in having me traipse all the way to Baskerville Hall to solve some so-called mystery? Clearly, you had some scheme in mind, no doubt another one of your let’s-test-Watson games, but I really do not appreciate wasting my time here with Sir Hennery when I could have been getting on with some actual work!
It is only Hennery’s good nature and talent to amuse that kept me from going out of my mind, sitting here, day after day, awaiting the arrival of His Eminence Sherlock Holmes, who all this time it seems has been sitting on his consultative arse back at Baker Street. Let me tell you, Holmes, when I get off the train tomorrow, I shall come straight over to yours and give you a jolly good going over, which you can be assured will include probing your many orifices, assessing your testicular reflexes and several other painful ‘tests’ which I dare say I shall enjoy administering. And what’s more, if it turns out that there is not a damn thing wrong with you (apart from a warped sense of humour), I shall be very vexed indeed.
I’d return on the night train if I wasn’t so angry, but knowing myself as I do, I will sleep on it and save my ire for the morning.
Watson (tired and irritable)