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Wilde Nights…

from Dr J Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:

Holmes
Please inform Mrs Hudson that I would be very glad to avail myself of the spare bed after tonight’s adventures. I cannot say, however, that I’m looking forward to meeting Stevenson again – after that face-changing charade he pulled off at Dr Jekyll’s apartments last year, when his lodger Hyde appeared and went on a killing spree down at the local butchers. If you hadn’t had the foresight to bring along your meat cleaver and get a good swing at the madman as he emerged from the shop with a pork chop on his head, God alone knows what might have transpired.

It will be good to see Wilde again – especially since he denounced that bunch of homosexual vagabonds he and Bosie used to hang around with. (I can put up with Bosie and his boring anecdotes about that illiterate drunkard and rarely-known-to-be-sober shit-faced father of his – just so long as he doesn’t get his John Thomas out in public again!)

At any rate, the girl in the cake should allow us an amusing interlude – provided she doesn’t go and get herself murdered. I could not countenance another “The Case of the Knife in the Chest of the Girl in the Cake” again.

Ah, my Hansom has arrived. I will see you anon.

Watson

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Posted by on September 17, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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Wilde Nights…

from Dr J Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:

Holmes
Perhaps it is my imagination, but I suspect you may be thinking that this “doctor” or indeed some other person who has been masquerading as a doctor, may in fact be me. I am a little hurt that you could believe I would withhold such information from you as we have always, at least on my part, been on honest terms with one another. The explanation for this account of Wilde’s in any case is quite obvious, and I’m rather surprised you didn’t cotton on to it straight away: Wilde is purported to be writing a book based on his experiences of traversing the various hostelries, brothels and gin-houses of certain areas of Colorado during his recent American tours, which I believe is being published under the title of: Yank My Bone Ye Whiskey-Drinking Miners. I suspect Wilde and that ill-tempered Knob-jockey Bosie, were simply entertaining themselves at your expense, knowing that you would jump to conclusions.

By the way Holmes, I do hope you have been able to separate yourself from Master Douglas and that ‘psychic’ thespian Gere? The pair of them did seem rather affected by our recent adventures – perhaps a spell in The Asylum would be beneficial? If you require me to sign the necessary papers, let me know and I’ll be along with my white coat and a large needle.

W

 
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Posted by on August 4, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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Doctor at Largesse…

from Sherlock Holmes Esq to Dr J Watson:

Watson, your recent missive to myself (which alas I have mislaid), mentions your being present at The Judge and Wig-Wearer – this information causes me some misgiving – I was enthusiastically assured by Master Wilde last evening that himself and Bosie had been trawling the lowest dives and gin-houses imaginable several evenings ago, and had settled in for a space of time in that particular establishment.  

Loud and long did they hoot with raucous laughter, entertaining me with tales of “the doctor” they had fallen in with, and the antics he performed with their good selves, several Lascars, Dwarves and Boys of the Night.   You Would tell me, John, if you knew the identity of said Doctor? I am well aware of the rapscallions and deviants who frequent said den of iniquity… you know you can confide in myself, I hope, and I am a very understanding fellow, having my own particular habits…

Yours, S.

 
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Posted by on August 2, 2014 in Detective Fiction

 

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